I’m gonna try to make it concise, but it was almost like a build-up into the ultimate horror.
Dating my current partner, we’ve been seeing each other for seven-ish months…have been having more sex with this person than I’ve ever had in my entire life. That led to UTIs all the time. Got back from a music festival together, thought I had a yeast infection…then I sensed something felt off and something was, like, hurting. And so I went in, and I was like, “Cool, probably a yeast infection. That’s what it feels like.” Ended up being BV. Um, but then I asked her about…it was like a sore or like an ingrown hair, and she just said, “Mm, looks like an ingrown hair,” And in the moment I was like, cool, reassured, everything’s fine. She sent me on my way.
And then the next day I saw smaller bumps elsewhere that looked totally different from what it initially was. I was in the shower and I like totally freaked the fuck out, like super panic attack. It was like this back and forth like, “Well, it can’t be this.” It was horrifying, like, what the fuck am I gonna do? I was gonna lose my health insurance in two days, and I was leaving on a family vacation the next day.
So, called my partner, was just crying, and he was fucking amazing. So he came over, [we] went to urgent care, ’cause I couldn’t make an appointment. Seven-hour wait, but I was able to go home and wait. And then of course they only had male doctors, so I had to ask for a chaperone, a woman nurse. They closed at 7:00. I was there till 7:30. He waited with me the whole time.
Did he know?
My reaction was big, and so he was like, “Well, let me see.” I was just, like, on the couch and he was crouched looking. And he was like, “Oh, I thought it was gonna be worse, just how you were reacting.” Not like he wasn’t phased.
Well, what was it?
It was HSV-1, what it ended up being. And I guess one is usually the oral. and so that’s why I was kind of confused. Thankfully, the doctor who did [the] swab, he was like, “I’m just gonna give you the antiviral. And, even if it’s not, just start taking it,” which was wonderful. I was on my family vacation when I got the results. And I kinda knew. And then it went away. And then I was talking to my partner. He was like, “I mean, I got a cold sore once when I was, like, seven.” He’s like, “Maybe it was that.”
So he didn’t have an active cold sore?
No. So then we kinda just don’t know, ’cause he was in the military, and so that health insurance just takes… It’s interesting. So he still hasn’t gone to get tested. But I think it’s always the thing of, well, was it you or was it me? We kind of were both thinking that about each other, but it really doesn’t fucking matter. But I don’t think I’d feel the way I feel about it — like, how okay I am — if I wasn’t in a relationship. If I was alone doing this it would’ve been so different.
Why?
Because I would’ve been alone, and I think I would’ve felt more shame because, like, maybe I didn’t get it from my partner. I can’t even remember the last time I had sex before. It was nice to experience it with someone.
But like we were talking about, it could be from anywhere. You could only be with one person, then whoops, you get, you know, something. Who knows from who.
Exactly. And yeah, I just think it’s so interesting that it’s when I’m in a committed relationship [for] the first time in so long that this happens. ‘Cause you would think when I was, like, you know, just sleeping around like I did.
I was so scared and sad. But again, it’s like you can have one breakout, and then maybe not. I don’t know how it’s gonna look.
What did they give you?
It was just like the seven-day. You can take something that’s a smaller dose just all the time. But then again, I lost my health insurance. The doctor at urgent care was great. He was like, “Everyone has it.” And he was like, “Sometimes babies get it during birth,” you know? Which is so interesting. I never thought about that.
I went on my family vacation, and I am very close to my sister-in-law. So I texted her before, and I was like, “Hey, this is what happened in the past two days. Mitchell’s meeting the whole fucking family.” And then she was like, “Oh yeah, I have it too, and so does your brother.” It’s just so funny.
I think now I don’t think about it. And then I think of, like, well, if I date again, those conversations, you know? But I just have it, it was a thing that we were all scared of for so long. Me personally, I was terrified of it happening. That was last month. Super fresh. But again, the outbreak wasn’t terrible. The antivirals worked really, really well. And we’ll see.